The motives and sympathies of the Latala remain an undiscernible secret. They have bound us again, though we don’t know why, and they no longer withdraw entirely from us at nightfall. We were freed to eat in camp, but I have a feeling that as soon as I put down my pen I will be tied again.
All the more reason to write for a while.
Oddly, I can’t think of what to put down. The paper is blank and refuses to change.
What awaits us at the end of this march? Why do we continue east as we had intended all along? I wish I had my sword close by. I don’t think it would be wise to try our luck against the Latala in our current condition, but it would bring me comfort to rest my hand on the hilt.
Bitterness. Perhaps that’s what keeps my mind blank. There is so much upon which to reflect, from interacting with a Titan to the very real probability that there is a Daedric society mere leagues from us tonight. There are mysteries to unravel and dangers aplenty, yet I find myself dwelling on my pack. My ‘brothers.’ The men who watched me enter my exile and spared not a breath to oppose it.
I suppose I cannot blame them. I was a pariah to the Tetrarch, and their association with me was strong enough as it was. We fought and bled together for over a decade. I suppose I expected more protection from them. Together we functioned as a more cohesive whole than any other team I’ve been a part of. Even Dionus and Balthandar cannot hope to understand my thoughts as they once did.
We were a single fighting organism, alive and growing on the deaths of our enemies. We shared something special. There’s a reason we were regularly stationed in Sterling. If it wasn’t for our proficiency we would never have stayed, and I would never have met you. Had I not met you, I would not have had the opportunity to teach you what I was able.
Had I not come to love and befriend you, Marsuvius, I would not have been so disappointed when you too remained silent at my sentencing.
I have been so thoroughly abandoned.
Even if Dionus or Balthandar never congeal with me into the whole I once knew, they have one thing over every other person I have ever known. They have taken my death upon their own shoulders and are carrying my burden where no other dared. They are the truest friends I could ever hope to have.
I hope we make it out of this alive.